Jaguar's XF Saloon


I awoke this morning in a strop. Granted, today is a darker cast than usual. I, like the rest of the nation, have just come to terms with England’s never ending football failure; this time at the hands of smug France. Deary, deary me. If ever hope was a dangerous thing.

It is with this positive frame that I approach today’s task: a review of Jaguar’s XF saloon. Over several bowls of Weetabix, I contemplate the options, the possible angles of attack. My wheat fix hasn’t removed the startling pathos of my mood. I have flashbacks to Mel Gibson’s Mayan Jaguar Paw – of how it wasn’t till seeing this movie that I realized that there was more to the word Jaguar than a failing business model.

Perhaps I can link my desultory dose of depression with the doubtless gloom in the suit-laden corridors of Ford HQ, as they contemplate their under-performing Jaguar wing. Or how could I rewrite that as Paw?

Having shuffled my way to the creamy showrooms, I liaise with Dave, my enthusiastic guide for the day. Before us lie what looks like a ‘Back to the Future’ revamp of a Ford Mondeo. Shiny, in contrast with the dank London sky, Dave spills out the usual blurb. It’s not till I sit in this XF that my chemical depression begins to fade.

Stepping inside the XF, I’m immediately struck by the sound system from Bower & Wilkins – the sonic choice of Abbey Road Studios, no less. This is complemented by an easy to use touch screen and a general feeling of Churchillian comfort. The XF is packed full of innovation, the coup de grace being a glove-¬box which opens at the wave of a hand and a new hidden gear selector. All very Austen Powers. This opulent abode is very roomy, with plenty of space in the rear for Big people. There is an eminent boot to carry a sizable amount of luggage.

Established Jaguar engines are offered: a competent V6 2.7litre turbo-diesel, a 3.0litre V6 petrol, a 4.2litre V8 and, topping the range, the SV8 with power upped to XK levels of 410bhp. The slowest top speed is 143mph in the diesel, and the slowest 0-60 is 7.9 seconds in the 3.0-litre V6. At the other end of the spectrum the SV8, powered by the same 4.2-litre V8 as the XKR sports coupe, rockets from 0-60mph in 5.1sec to a limited 155mph top speed. Note the lack of an R model - but an all-new 5.0-litre 500+ bhp V8 is expected in the near future!

All XFs feature a sophisticated six-speed automatic transmission that includes a unique, all-new JaguarDrive Selector – an industry first rotary shift interface – and the Jaguar Sequential Shift System with steering-wheel mounted paddles for one-touch manual control.

It strikes me as odd that Ford, who is actively trying to offload Jaguar, would give the go ahead for the all new XF. The timing seems extraordinary given the required investment in design and development - Although deliveries will not start until next March, so pivotal is the XF that it was the only model on Jaguar’s press day stand at the pompous Frankfurt Motor Show. It is safe to say that the very future of Jaguar is reliant on the success or failure of the XF.

With prices ranging from £33,900 to £54,900, this car will need to deliver on more than first impressions. It certainly is a step forward from the retro revolution that has bedraggled Jaguar for so long. Jaguar has always benefited from being what it is not, if that makes sense. If nothing else, driving a Jaguar sets you apart from the hordes of BMW, Mercedes and Audi drivers. The boys at the dealership tend to be friendlier than their Bavarian cousins – who presumably don't have to try so hard. You feel exclusive, even if your smug J status is as fragile asAshley Cole’s marriage.

In contrast to popular opinion, driving a new Jaguar out of a showroom isn’t the equivalent activity of throwing £50 notes out the window. Industry-leading residual value experts CAP and EurotaxGlass’s have both put the XF under the microscope and both will be quoting residual value after 36 months / 36,000 miles of 50% of original value for the 2.7-litre diesel Luxury model. These figures from both experts mean the XF 2.7-litre diesel Luxury is best in class against rivals BMW, Mercedes, Lexus and Audi. CAP has concluded that the nearest rival, the BMW 525d SE will retain 45.3% of its original value over the same period.

Privy as I am to seeing this car pre-release, I am not as lucky as to be able to drive the XF. I, like the rest of the world, will have to wait until March. But could I be bothered? Frankly no.

I firmly believe that whoever the Brain was behind the XF has completely missed the point. The only logical reason for ever buying a Jag was that they were the best looking cars on the road – plain and simple. It didn’t matter a damn that they had the temperament of goats and were the economical equivalent of hiring Steve McClaren. It simply doesn’t matter how well or bad the XF drives. Its singular failure is that it isn’t beautiful!

By Paul Tuthill/MOLI